Sunday Nibble #11: Political limerick cycle in 12 fits


I wrote this Limerick cycle a while ago to submit to a contest. I never did submit it, but it was written in response to the bank bailout of 2008, making it even more apt now than ever, even without any rewrites. Enjoy!

Fit the 1st

You know that American dream?

It promised us peaches and cream

And it was stolen by bankers

Those big greedy wankers

The rest of us? Thoroughly reamed

Fit the 2nd

“Excuse us, we’re too big to fail,”

They pled with a quite plaintive wail

So we bailed out those jerks

And they spent it on perks

While they should have just spent it in jail

Fit the 3rd

“Main Street not Wall Street,” we cried

“We hear you,” our Congress folk lied –

Then did lobbyists’ chores

(‘Cause they’re nothing but whores)

And that’s how Democracy died

Fit the 4th

We’re in need of more jobs, not more guns

We’re civilized ‘cause we’re not huns

Yet every day, more

Of our money to war

Not to mention dead daughters and sons

Fit the 5th

And they sit in their high lofty places

And stuff their fat overfed faces

The one percent sucks

For stealing our bucks

The Kochs, and the Morgans and Chases

Fit the 6th

Those bastards with riches don’t care

And we know that they’ll never share

So let’s make them pay —

Tax their riches away

And ignore their loud screams of “Unfair!”

Fit the 7th

“But no, that is pure socialism!

It’ll cause a societal schism!”

I don’t buy that talk

If they do, then just walk

Their only alternative? Prison

Fit the 8th

A prison built of their corruption

It’s time for a responsive eruption

Let those bastards get

Same as Marie Antoinette

Let’s end this systemic dysfunction!

Fit the 9th

“We the People” was writ long ago

But it’s still just as true, don’t you know?

So the only right course

Is to get rid of these whores

And the whole goddamn bunch has to go

Fit the 10th

Politics and money? Bad fits

But the fix is real easy, and it’s —

Vote with your wallet

It outranks the ballot

And boycotts give Wall Street the shits

Fit the 11th

The thing that we have to remember:

We stoke Democracy’s ember

The Dems are all for us

The GOP just abhor us

You know how to vote in November

Fit the 12th

The American Dream is not lost

Only momentarily tossed

Keep up the attack

And we’ll take the thing back

Which is worth it, no matter the cost

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