I wrote this Limerick cycle a while ago to submit to a contest. I never did submit it, but it was written in response to the bank bailout of 2008, making it even more apt now than ever, even without any rewrites. Enjoy!
Fit the 1st
You know that American dream?
It promised us peaches and cream
And it was stolen by bankers
Those big greedy wankers
The rest of us? Thoroughly reamed
Fit the 2nd
“Excuse us, we’re too big to fail,”
They pled with a quite plaintive wail
So we bailed out those jerks
And they spent it on perks
While they should have just spent it in jail
Fit the 3rd
“Main Street not Wall Street,” we cried
“We hear you,” our Congress folk lied –
Then did lobbyists’ chores
(‘Cause they’re nothing but whores)
And that’s how Democracy died
Fit the 4th
We’re in need of more jobs, not more guns
We’re civilized ‘cause we’re not huns
Yet every day, more
Of our money to war
Not to mention dead daughters and sons
Fit the 5th
And they sit in their high lofty places
And stuff their fat overfed faces
The one percent sucks
For stealing our bucks
The Kochs, and the Morgans and Chases
Fit the 6th
Those bastards with riches don’t care
And we know that they’ll never share
So let’s make them pay —
Tax their riches away
And ignore their loud screams of “Unfair!”
Fit the 7th
“But no, that is pure socialism!
It’ll cause a societal schism!”
I don’t buy that talk
If they do, then just walk
Their only alternative? Prison
Fit the 8th
A prison built of their corruption
It’s time for a responsive eruption
Let those bastards get
Same as Marie Antoinette
Let’s end this systemic dysfunction!
Fit the 9th
“We the People” was writ long ago
But it’s still just as true, don’t you know?
So the only right course
Is to get rid of these whores
And the whole goddamn bunch has to go
Fit the 10th
Politics and money? Bad fits
But the fix is real easy, and it’s —
Vote with your wallet
It outranks the ballot
And boycotts give Wall Street the shits
Fit the 11th
The thing that we have to remember:
We stoke Democracy’s ember
The Dems are all for us
The GOP just abhor us
You know how to vote in November
Fit the 12th
The American Dream is not lost
Only momentarily tossed
Keep up the attack
And we’ll take the thing back
Which is worth it, no matter the cost
Jon Bastian 