Sunday Nibble #84: The One, Ten Thousand, and other L.A. horror stories

How over-priced apartments for TikTok influencers and a ridiculously oversized house in foreclosure exemplify L.A.’s big property problems.

This is a story that starts and ends with property, but in particular with one address in Los Angeles that I will always associate with architecture.

That address is 10000 Santa Monica Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90067 and, at the time I first new it, my father worked there for an architectural firm called Welton Becket & Associates.

I know. “Welton Becket” sounds like its already an association of two, but it’s not. He was an actual person, born in 1902, and who was in the business long before my father took up the profession. In fact, it wasn’t all that long after my father joined their firm that Becket died in 1969.

It was a company with a lot of legacies. The landmark Capital Records Building , the Cinerama Dome, and the Los Angeles Music Center were a trio of famous Welton Becket designs, and my father worked as a structural engineer on all of them.

He did it from a three-story office building at 10000 Santa Monica, which was right on the border line between the cities of Los Angeles and Beverly Hills — although Los Angeles is this weird literal fruitcake of towns and cities, so the Los Angeles that Beverly Hills bordered was just a continuation that wrapped around the smaller city and covered most of the county.

The fruits and nuts in the huge lump of dough that is L.A. are various unincorporated areas with their own names but which are still part of the City of L.A. — Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Hollywood, Los Feliz, etc.

Others are their own, independent cities with their own municipal governments and police departments — Malibu, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, Culver City, and Burbank, to name a few. While none of these fall under the jurisdiction of the City of L.A., all of them are part of the County of L.A.

Note: If you’re from out of town — especially if you’re from out of town — please call it L.A. We much prefer that to hearing it butchered as “low sanjaylees” or “la sanjulees” or any other abomination that ends with a long “E.”

Anyway… Welton Becket & Associates sat on the border of Los Angeles and Beverly Hills, but it was also directly south of a place called Century City which was not itself a city, but rather a large, mixed-use development designed and built by Welton Becket & Associates.

It was quite an idea for its time, and still exists in mostly in its same original form, albeit with more buildings shoved in around the edges.

It featured both high-density, high-rise apartments and condos right next to office towers, two of the most famous having triangular footprints. The whole thing came about — and got its name — because it sits right behind what was then 20th Century Fox Studios, and they had a lot of backlot they weren’t using, so the studio head decided to go into real estate development.

Apparently, it was revolutionary for its time, and the design was so futuristic that it was used many times over the years for film and TV shoots, particularly for science fiction.

In fact, the famous Nakatomi Plaza from Die Hard was actually the nearly-constructed but not-yet-open Fox Plaza, within the confines of Century City and owned by 20th Century Fox. Rumor has it that the company was able to make a small fortune renting the building to its own construction, as well as demolishing bits on unfinished floors to take the write-off. Hey, why not? It was still under construction.

Anyway, growing up, I had a rather personal connection to 10000 Santa Monica as well as Century City — as a kid, it really was the coolest, most “This Is the Future!” place I’d ever been outside of Disneyland, and I got to take the bus after school over there all the time when I was old enough to meet up with dad and see a movie.

So it was some shock that I only just recently learned about Ten Thousand, which is a building located exactly where my father’s office used to be — a building that became the ESPN headquarters, by the way, after Welton Becket eventually shut down.

It’s at least 13 years old, going by Google Street View’s archive function, and it’s a forty-story monstrosity tucked into the same footprint as my father’s office, which was low but wide. Now, that wouldn’t be so unusual for L.A. — we have plenty of high-rise apartment buildings, especially in the area from Hollywood west through Beverly Hills, Westwood, and beyond.

No, what makes Ten Thousand unusual is that it recently changed its target audience from the super-rich, foreign business-people, and various celebs to the new kids in town: TikTok Influencers.

Apparently, if you know what to look for, you can spot TikTok videos that were made there just by what the apartments look like inside — sorry, no filming allowed in common areas.

The place is overloaded with services and amenities. You can read all about those in the original article I found them in. Unfortunately, it’s only available to subscribers to Graydon Carter’s Air Mail email newsletter, so I understand if you don’t want to bother with that — although it’s not that intrusive but is a news aggregator that does not tread the same grounds and everyone else.

Indeed, it was hard to find specific mention of the TikTok angle although I can find plenty on the Ten Thousand Building, such as why it’s called that, and it’s not just the address.

Nope. Read that number as $10K, which is the minimum rent on the smallest studio in the place, with rents going all the way up to $65K. Yes, that’s per month.

Now, this isn’t the first location catering to social media influencers. Hype House, founded in 2019, is both the name of a collective of influencers making videos together, as well as a mansion in Southern California where many of them live and work together.

And let’s not forget Jake Paul’s infamous Team 10 Mansion in Calabasas, which became the focus of neighborhood ire once it turned into an out-of-control party palace. Of course, back in the summer of 2020, the FBI raided the mansion and found firearms connected to riots in Arizona.

Paul’s star had already fallen by that time, but he did wind up selling the place at a huge loss in 2021, heading off to Miami.

But let’s not let the TikTok angle distract from the real issue here: High-rise apartment buildings in Los Angeles that get away with charging rents that would make New Yorkers blush.

Keep in mind that the average rent in Los Angeles is $2,518, with the average unit size being 791 square feet. That figure reflects both people who are paying below market because they’re lived in rent controlled units for a long time as well as new renters paying market value and the super-rich paying whatever “change” they find in their sofa cushions for luxury units that would be a really nice mortgage payment on the average house.

Yes, the change in the cushions was a joke. Still, the most expensive areas to rent in in Los Angeles hit the top at $4,054 per month in Oakwood. This neighborhood is right next to the more bohemian Venice — yes, it has canals, too — where average rents are $2,498.

This is another great example of gentrification. Once upon a time, Venice, along with Hollywood, was a cheap neighborhood with older apartments where hippies, artists, and musicians could afford to live. That demographic has definitely been developed right out of Hollywood, which is one of the worst examples of out-of-control growth in the city.

So, in answer to the question: How can Ten Thousand get away with charging those kinds of rents, which are way above the already inflated rents in the rest of the city?

Simple. Dog’s balls. I.E., because they can. And you can bet that they have absolutely zero units set aside for low-income housing, as developers are supposed to do.

There’s one big problem in Los Angeles when it comes to affordable housing. Well, fifteen, and they are called the City Council, although locals have a more colorful name for them that I’m sure you can figure out.

The simple problem is that they tend to be as corrupt as hell. The latest example is Mark Ridley-Thomas, who has been indicted on corruption charges for, among other things, getting his son into USC and then assigned to a professorship in exchange for shady favors, and all this right around the time he was on the County Board of Supervisors, voting with others to tear down the Los Angeles County Museum of Art because… rea$on$.

Note: The County Board of Supervisors is just as corrupt as the L.A. City Council. They’re just a lot more expensive.

But when it comes to affordable housing, the City Council dance goes like this. Developers submit plans that will basically tear up and destroy neighborhoods — but look! More housing!

Residents in those neighborhoods, homeowners and renters alike, show up at hearings on proposals and permits, and express their strong objections. The more enterprising will go directly to their City Council Member in person and get their ear.

City Council Member will show up at neighborhood association meetings, listen to their side, promise to save the character of the neighborhood and push back on the scale and/or location of the development, and maybe even make a speech or two against it in a planning session hearing or open City Council meeting.

And then… they will get very quiet and a couple of votes sneak by. Maybe there are a couple of modifications on the project, but not a lot, and then your City Council Member goes ahead and votes for it and stops answering calls from the neighborhood leaders that had been working with them.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Now, while my current district has, historically, had the smallest number of Council Members  — only eight in just under a century — we did boot out a long-time incumbent, Tom LaBonge, in 2015, because it was clear he was working for the developers, replaced him with David Ryu, who promised the world to renters and homeowners alike, and then abandoned both as soon as he got into office. We turned him into a one-term wonder, and the jury is still out on the current member, Nithya Raman, although like many elected officials, she did get really quiet after the election.

There was already a failed recall effort against her, but that was backed by someone I can best describe as a wee bit… unstable.

But, unfortunately, places like Ten Thousand have become the rule, not the exception, and complicate this with developers now diving into the market to buy up single family homes, tear them down and then jam eight tiny and expensive rental units on the lot, parking not included.

Also, affordable housing not included.

This has also made it very difficult for legitimate home buyers because, while they can and do make an offer, sometimes against asking price, it’s with a down-payment and mortgage, but developers will swoop in with an all-cash offer, and a lot of motivated sellers just can’t resist that. Meanwhile, the average homebuyer cannot compete.

It’s destroying the housing market, plain and simple.

About the only good mixed-use developments I can think of are the ones that they’ve been building on top of Metro Stations that include commercial, business, and rental properties — but they still need to make the housing much more affordable.

I can think of a few quick solutions off the top of my head, although don’t hold your breath, because this would require governments to pass laws unfriendly to developers. But here we go.

  1. Ban corporate ownership of single-family residences. The only exception: brief ownership by the bank or lender if the place goes into foreclosure, but it must be sold at the cost of the balance of the loan, and only to an individual buyer.
  2. Single-family residences can only be occupied by the owner, family, or boarders/lodgers in designated rooms or outbuildings. No such residence can ever be dedicated entirely as a vacation rental, like AirBnB, or partially for more than 90 days within any one calendar year. Owners must be in residence during vacation rental occupancies.
  3. Units within multi-family buildings can only be occupied by individuals who are signed to a lease. They may not be used as corporate housing for, for example, flight crews on layover, visiting executives or employees, or other occupational transients. Such people can only take up residence in contracted or owned commercial residential units, see below.
  4. Corporations can buy multi-family housing buildings, such as apartments, duplexes, or townhouses. However, if any of the units is occupied upon sale, the new owners are barred from evicting those tenants for ten years for any reason other than criminal behavior which results in felony conviction and/or imprisonment, and cannot perform major renovations on unoccupied units without the written consent of all existing tenants.
  5. Any residential rental units that have remained vacant for more than six months, whether or not the owner or management company showed due diligence in trying to rent them out, shall be put onto the market with the City as broker at one-half their current market value rent, subject to all of the same rent controls with that as the base rent. All income shall still incur to the owners, but at a new, fixed rate.
  6. Any commercial residential units, like hotels, motels, transient hotels, or the like, that have remained vacant for more than a year shall remain in the owner’s possession but shall be administered by the City as transitional housing for the homeless, with the City reimbursing the owners on a per tenant/per room basis each month.
  7. Any commercial property, like office buildings, malls, or the like, that cannot sustain 20% occupancy for more than five years or which fall below 10% occupancy at any time shall be seized by the City by public domain, with the owners compensated at the rate of one quarter of current monthly square foot rental cost times five — or 4/5ths the current square footage cost. Take it or leave it. These buildings would be converted into more of that mixed-use housing that developers seem to love so much, except owned by the city, or possibly a city-county-state combo, and could provide both housing and services to the homeless, battered woman seeking shelter, abandoned or runaway kids, and college students.
  8. Every new unit constructed must include one parking space per bedroom within the square footage of the entire lot, whether exterior to the units or placed underground or in a structure. Every new multi-family construction must include 25% low-cost units priced at an amount equal to 25% of the current median household income in the county, limited to people who make less than the median.

I call this my “How to Make a Developer Shit” list, but it’s long past time that we do it. L.A. technically has plenty of land and square acreage to see that everyone is housed affordably, There are no excuses to developers to be buying up single family homes and converting them into tiny, market-rate units with no parking, or for corporations to be renting out apartments in multi-family homes when hotels are available.

There’s also no excuse for so much vacant commercial property sitting around unused, and especially no excuse for mega-developments in suburbs or on known earthquake fault-lines. (Fortunately, the permits for that last one were recently revoked by the city.)

There’s also no excuse for a place called The One, a 105,000 square foot monstrosity located in Bel Air. It has 21 bedrooms, 42 bathrooms, a 50-space parking garage, a movie theatre, nightclub, cigar room, 10,000 bottle wine cellar, salon, bowling alley, a movie theatre to rival any multiplex black box, and more.

Developed by film producer Nile Niami, creator of such well-known “classics” as Galaxis, DNA, Resurrection, and Tart. In other words, a lot of direct-to-video material, but his films made him enough money overseas that he started investing in real estate here, culminating in his construction of The One, for which he originally estimated would sell for $500 million.

However, he defaulted on the loans used to develop and build it, so it’s now going on sale via receivership and the asking price is now a mere $225 million.

If any single-family home in Los Angeles should be torn down to put up a ton of units in its place, this is the ideal candidate. Or just throw a couple of apartment towers on top of it, move all of the TikTok kids from Ten Thousand in and give them the amenities, then turn Ten Thousand itself into low-cost single-family housing.

After all, the TikTok influencers don’t really need to go anywhere but they probably all own really expensive cars anyway, so being on a hill a few miles away from stuff shouldn’t be a problem.

Meanwhile, people who need a rent break and may not even have cars could sure use an affordable place to live next to Century City, which is close to a lot of transit lines and will be sitting on top of the L.A. Metro system one day soon.

I’d call this trade a great example of sustainable development, actually.

Image source: BDS2006 (talk)., (CC BY-SA 3.0), via Wikimedia Commons.

The Saturday Morning Post #14, Part 3

Today brings us to the third part of the closing novella, which takes place at the wedding of the daughter of the mayor of Los Angeles and brings all of the main characters together at one event.  You can catch up to last week’s installment here or start at the top here. Last week, we saw the wedding ceremony and the plans for the post-wedding receptions, public and private. Now, we catch up with our main characters as they celebrate.

TAKING HOPE

Toby’s reason for getting to the wedding and bringing Adrian along had a single purpose. His attempts to rebuild Edna’s property had hit a brick wall, and it was called Wendy Rue, the City Council representative for the 10th District, although Toby thought of her more as the big developer’s rep for herself. Less than two weeks after the quake, she was making pronouncements about rebuilding her district, but she was so far in the back pockets of the developers that what this really meant was eminent-domaining the shit out of any red-tagged property slated for demolition, and then tossing out the building permits for luxury condos like they were, well, birdseed at a wedding.

She had set her sights on Edna’s property early on, with dreams of putting up a fifty story mixed-use commercial property and luxury hotel, and Toby had sicced his lawyers on her almost immediately. Luckily, he didn’t live in the 10th. He lived and did business in the 13th, and that council member, Jay Beeber, hated the gentrification of the city with a passion. Toby knew him personally — he was a major campaign donor — and Jay was trying to talk sense into Wendy on Toby’s behalf, but she was having none of it.

At least Toby had managed to get an injunction against the imminent domain attempt back in July, but it was only for 90 days, so there wasn’t a lot of time left.

So his quest at the wedding was to get some face time with Alejandra, explain what was going on, and asking her to intercede. Fortunately, because of the various scandals back in ‘23 that had seen half of the Council Members recalled and half of the rest lose their re-elections, the replacements had actually passed laws giving the Mayor a lot more power over them, akin to what governors and the president had in terms of veto power, something that had long been lacking. This also included a very California innovation, borrowed from San Francisco, and it was called the Right of Absolute Intervention or, as the public had dubbed it, giving the mayor teeth.

In short, any government contract that a single council member or the entire council chose to enter into could be voided, without penalty, by the mayor, and without appeal short of a two-thirds majority referendum vote by either the district in question or the city at large, whichever applied.

And that was what Toby was banking on, since he knew Alejandra’s leanings, and once he’d gotten the chance to explain to her that he was determined to create what would truly be low income housing for people in need, he had no doubt that she would bare her teeth and bite Wendy Rue off at the knees.

He just needed to actually get that time with her and, honestly, the only person busier than the happy couple at a wedding were the mothers of both of them. That was why he brought Adrian. The kid was amazing and brilliant, and if Toby couldn’t get to her, Adrian would.

Alice and Edna couldn’t have been happier when they walked the green carpet and entered the cathedral, which was awe-inspiring inside. They were even more blown away when they were shown their seats, to the left of the altar and in the front row. Then again, this was well after their wedding outfits and shoes had been delivered to them, “Courtesy of the Bride and Groom,” although those weren’t quite a surprise, since a nice young man named Finley had come out to measure them.

They hadn’t known each other before now, but when they’d been introduced in line by the kid named Adrian they’d both met, they formed an immediate connection. After all, they were property owners on the 3400 block of West 8th Street in Koreatown, Adrian and Toby were trying to help out both of them, and while only Edna had been directly threatened by that City Council woman whose name she refused to remember, Alice had known of and hated her for years, because she did not understand the value of the arts, and had constantly lobbied Alice with ineffective bribes to try to get her to move out in order to raze the building and put up a boutique hotel on top of a bunch of upscale shops.

When that woman had visited her in person to try to push her agenda, it was the one and only time in her life that Alice said the words, “Fuck you” to another person. This managed to make the City Councilor stalk off in high dudgeon, as well as get a round of applause from her students, who had been standing behind her at the time. That applause was the only thing that made her not feel utterly ashamed for having been so rude to a government official. In fact, it made her feel more American than she ever had in her life.

And, at this wedding, Alice and Edna feel young and important, and look beautiful, and could not believe where they were sitting and, more importantly, which famous people they spotted as the room filled up. They kept quietly whispering to each other.

Edna: “Oh my god, is that Brad Pitt? He’s still hot as hell and he’s what? Sixty-five?”

Alice: “Yeah, but damn. Tarantino just looks… old.”

Edna: “I didn’t even know that Angelyne was still alive.” Of course, she was seated way in the back.

Alice: “Please tell me that Justin Bieber is crashing this and they’re going to kick him… Oh. Great. No.”

Edna: “All right, that’s it. Betty White is a vampire or something. How old is she now?”

Alice: “She looks amazing. I think she’s like… 107 or something?”

Edna: “Wow. I should only look so good in 25 years.”

Alice: “That’d be 2054. Wow. And I’d only be 98.”

Edna: “You know, with science nowadays — ”

Alice: “Yeah, but only if I get to look like I’m thirty.”

Edna turns to her and they fist bump.

At that same moment, James was quietly trying to figure out whether he could casually finger-bang Finley behind Tycho’s back without anyone noticing it, but Tycho noticed, grabbed James’ arm, and moved it back to his right side.

“We are at work, dude. We do not fuck at work. Got it?”

“Not even a little?” James pleaded, giving his best puppy-dog eyes.

“Not even at all, you horny whore-bag. But if you manage to keep it in your pants until we get home, I promise that Fin and I are going to DP you until your face explodes. And if you’re really well behaved, we might even invite Adam and Tony along to see how many dicks we can get up your ass at once.”

“Behaving!” James replied, and then he shut up and kept his hands to himself.

The whole complicated sex thing between Tycho, Finley, James, Adam, and Tony had finally settled into a pattern once Tycho actually moved into his government condo, but that had taken a bit longer than until the middle of May, mainly because there were two groups that hadn’t gotten moved into new permanent headquarters, and it was all due to a single city council member who Tycho had taken to referring to (privately to Finley and James) as “that Goddamn Shit-cunt Wendy.”

She was trying to take over their properties when both orgs had sufficient endowments to rebuild. He had had to work through the County Board of Supervisors to get the Mayor of L.A. to basically tell Wendy to fuck off, which she immediately did as soon as she got the scoop — it did help that one group was a Catholic org, and the RAI order was fired off so fast and hard that, Tycho hoped, it singed away half of Wendy’s Karen haircut.

He had managed to fast-track it, so that by June 1st the properties were secured, plans were being submitted for approval and permitting, and temporary quarters were placed on the sites, ending his need to stay down there. Although he’d found it laughable that this was even a requirement at all, because of how it worked out.

In theory, everyone should have been lodged as close to their area as could be, in this case Koreatown. In practice, that wasn’t possible. But the great irony was that Tycho’s condo downtown was actually closer, and on the same B Line that brought him down from the Valley in the opposite direction.

The only upside was that hotel sex was totally awesome, and their whirlpool tubs and showerheads could do amazing things in the right hand and aimed at or up the right parts. Otherwise, though, it was absolutely stupid, but he wasn’t going to waste his breath complaining about that to any of his superiors, because it would never change.

He guessed that at least a couple of the members of the Board of Supervisors owned stock in the various hotels people were being lodged at, so had a vested interest in keeping business booming at taxpayer expense. Yeah, one thing he’d really learned on the job was that the Supervisors’ level of corruption made the shit that had finally destroyed and rebuilt the City Council look as trivial as a fourth-grader charging other kids a dollar to copy from their homework.

It had been going on for a lot longer, and nobody ever did anything about it. It almost made him angry enough to want to run for the Board and change things from inside, but he knew that this wasn’t possible and feared that he’d become just as corrupt.

The City Council has fifteen members and the County Board of Supervisors has five. At the wedding, as Tycho scans the crowd, he spots all five of the Supes, but only fourteen of the Council, and secretly does a little internal dance of joy when it’s still only fourteen right before show time.

He leans over to Finley and whispers, “Shit-Cunt’s not here.”

“You think she was invited?” he asks.

“Inevitably,” Tycho explains. “The invitations went out months ago, and all the council and department managers and other top levels would have gotten one. It’s protocol.”

“So she decided not to show up?” Finley wonders.

“Most likely,” Tycho replies. “She’s known for being petty and vindictive.”

Adam leans over to whisper to the two of them. “Cindy told me that she’s trying to take over her old landlady’s property and turn it into more luxury condos for rich people.”

“What does the landlady think of that?” Finley asks.

“Of course she hates the idea, but Rue’s been going around doing eminent domain.”

“What a bitch,” Tony adds.

“I am definitely going to chat up the Supes today to see what they can do to cut that shit-cunt off at the knees,” Tycho tells them all as the lights change and a sudden plaintive flute starts up at the back of the nave. It’s followed by drums and then, to their total shock, a bunch of accordions playing a polka kick in from the other side of the house.

The rest of it is the most awesome thing any of them have even seen in a church.

Image: US Bank Tower, Downtown Los Angeles, © 2018 Jon Bastian. All rights reserved.

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